Deadpool vs Dante vs
by IAMASEXYMAN
Summary: Watch a very fateful and amazing encounter between two well matched rivals, as well as many others!
1. vs Donte

deadpool vs dante

"okay you fag enabler" dante said to deadpool. it was edgy. "hey dont make fun of gays! #tumblr" deadpool said. it was also kind of edgy. then they started edging off so hard they came. dante killed deadpool but deadpool cant die and so dante chopped off deadpool's arm to get an advantage but then it regenerated so deadpool stole dante's idea to cut off body parts and cut off dante's penis. then dante started cussing and talked about murder a lot and it waS FO CUKING EDGY HE TRANSFORMED INTO DONTE FROM THE DEVIL MAY CRY REBOOT

"no" deadpool said. he pressed his glowing fingertip against donte's heart. "i cannot let someone go this way, even if they're my enemy" deadpool said. donte was so touched by deadpool's words that it made him dante again. and then they hugged. and then deadpool took off his mask and dante peed his pants. 


	2. vs Adachi (Persona 4)

okay so deadpool and his wife shiklah decided to go to inaba to destory the evil of the animes

deadpool ran into a guy INTERCOURSING IWTH A CABBAGE HAHA ADACHI CABBAGE JOKE HIIMDAISY COMIC REFERENCE PERSONA MEME

deadpool saw adachi humping his cabbage curled up in a ball while shiklah was trying to buy something. adachi jizzed all over his cabbage and then looked over at deadpool. "hey" adachi said. deadpool hated cabbage and child molesters. and plus adachi looked really anime. "FUCK YOU," deadpool said and he chopped off adachi's peener. adachi screamed. "OH GOD I NEEDED THAT FOR THE GIRL I WAS GONNA..." adachi said. then he took out magatsu-izanagi. deadpool knew this shit. he took out his gun and shot himself in the head and a beautiful mara emerged from his pants and thrusted into adachi's asshole and then used power charge and blight inside of adachi's hamsterhole. adachi scream and deadpool laugh. then adachi grabbed some random lady walking by and held her at gunpoint wtf it was shiklah. deadpool was about to save her but then like she broke free. "i dont need someone to save me" she said and then adachi grabbed her.

then all of a sudden... DANTE SHOWED UP FROM NOWHERE AND SLICED OFF ADACHI'S HEAD... AND SAVED SHIKLAH. dante bowed to shiklah. "hey i just saved you want to go have some pizza?" he said. shiklah turned into a demon monster thing and shat on dante. "I SAID I DON'T LIKE BEING SAVED I CAN PROTECT MYSELF" and deadpool was pissed at dante for being afraid of him without his mask on and for pissing off his girl. "Hey asshole let's fight again" deadpool said so edgyily. then dante held his sword toward the DP and it was SO EDGY THAT THEY STARTED JIZZING UNCONTROLLABLY AND THEN JIZZ WENT EVERYWHERE HOLY HECKLES DECKLES...

then adachi arose from the dead from a plume of dusk and he arrested both deadpool and dante because he was a cop (like this happened before he was arrested) and that was that. then they were deported somewhere or something tbc 


	3. vs ET (ET the Extra Terrestrial)

okay so adachi had deadpool and dante shipped off away from inaba and they had literally no idea where they were being sent and they were stuck in the same box and dante felt deadpool poking him a LOT.

then they both fell out of the box and they were in space holy crap! then a spaceship absorbed them...

"phon ehome?" said an alien with a long neck and skin that looked like ballsack skin. "yes phone home we need to get on earth" dante said. deadpool smacked the phone out of dante's head when he reached for it. "nah let's just stay in space for now, i could use some time away from earth," deadpool said. "wtf" dante screamed. "your wife is literally down on earth you meme-faced shitdick you NEED to go back" but deadpool didn't listen. "dude i will but first i want to take a vacation." then deadpool smashed the phone on the ground and some other aliens that also had ballsack skin came out of the cockpit. "what the hell" one of them said. "what are you two even doing here kleborp why did you even LET THEM ON" one of the ballsack aliens said. "e.t. letting them phone home. b good" the first ballsack alien with the phone earlier said. one of the other ballsack aliens laughed. "what the hell are you calling yourself e.t. for spaz your name is kleborp" one of them laughed. then they all called kleborp mean names while deadpool teased dantE AND THEY STARED FIGHTING AND BREAKING STUFF ALL OVER THE SHIP AND THEY SET OFF AN EXPLOSION AND THE SHIP BLEW UP AND DANTE AND DEADPOOL AND E.T. AKA KLEBORP WERE THE ONLY SURVIVORS AND THEY WERE FLOATING OUT IN SPACE. before deadpool and dante could reach their usual mid-fight ejaculation from edge, they noticed e.t. screechign at them as he shot a flare out of his finger and it cut through deadpool. "OW THAT HURT" dp said. dante was all "let's edge up on his turd nugget first" and then they beat the crap out of him and i should stay away from fecial jokes because i rly need to use the bathroom right now and am waiting until i finish this story obh god im gonna shit myself. then deadpool and dante started beating up e.t. again and dante grabbed e.t.'s neck and snapped it in half. e.t. was dead. then dante and deadpool were both pulled into the gravity of the moon. "great how do we get off of this thing?" dante wondered. deadpool shrug. "gee who knows skippy let's just enjoy our moon vacation" 


	4. vs Mickey Mouse (Disney)

okay so dante and deadpool were stuck on the moon for an entire hour now. "god this sucks how do we get back" deadpool said and then dante was all "ITS UR FAULT AND WERE GONNA DIE BECAUSE THE MOON DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH EDGETONIUM IN THE ATMOSPHERE TO SUSTAIN US" and he was right. even deadpool who couldn't die, would die without edgetonium and there was not enough for him and/or dante on the moon. "damn skippy baby it'll be alright" deadpool said. then a rocket shaped like mickey freakin mouse landed on the moon. then disney people came out and started building a base and then mickey mouse came up angry. "WHERE THE LIVING HELL WERE YOU TWO? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MORE MONEY WE COULD HAVE BEEN MAKING WITH YOU TWO' deadpool knew what was goin' down. mickey had owned him because disney bought marvel. but dante? "you must be confused, Dante. in the year 2019 we bought capcom. we bought your rights, but you were MIA, and we lost money because we were unable to use your IP" mickey explained, and he was rly pissed. anyway dante was all "yeah blame that on deadpool and i am NOT working for a rat" and then deadpool was all "hey hes not a rat hes awesome and iTS NOT MY FAULT" and dante was all "YES IT IS" then they started fighting but mickey broke it up. "hey, IM the angry one here, my little biatches.."

then mickey mouse took a keyblade out of his butthole and also a paint brush from epic mickey which was a pretty bad game tbh. mickey starting fighting them and dante and deadpool had to team up. also deadpool chopped off mickey's peener and mickey screamed. then he held out his pain brush and splashed paint thinner all over deadpool and it erased some of his body but it regenerated and then mickey shot a circle of thinner around deadpool and dante and the ground saved in. they were being sent to the center of the moon! then a bunch of uranium (idk if that's a solid, a gas, or a liquid and i don't want to look it up because it would ruin my idea for the story) geysered out of the hole and deadpool and dante were sent flying on top of the ground fragment that caved in. they were sent flying off the moon and going back to earth. however mickey was allergic to uranium and it got all over him or he touched it and he starting spazzing out and having a seizure and choking to death and he humped the ground all the way over to his rocket and he bumped it and it fell over and it destroyed everything and mickey and the other disney people died... but deadpool and dante were back on earth! 


	5. vs Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

okay so dnate and deadpool were back on earth and then some spikey haired dumb dumb with a KEYSOWRD showed up. "hey wow okay that looks JUST like that one mouse's weapon" dante noticed out ;oud. "okayt he we should kill him" deadpool said. they approached the boy. "hi im sora and friends are my" he said but got cut off bc dante cut his throat a little. 'talk about and its my turn" deadpool said. sora started cryuing. he knew what they must have been thinking; they htought hew as going to kill them and turn them into mickey mouse, but he wouldn.t however he HAD to fight because miscommunication is a GOOD plot device.

anyway sora was in his dumb twerking-style battle stance and he said "MY FRIENDS ARE MY POWER" and immediately died after saying that. nice frkcking job. anyway then deadpool realized something, since sora looked SO ANIME he remembered adchi back in chapter 2... and his wife. "DANTE WE HAVE TO GO TO INABA AGAIN TO GO FIND MY WIFE! IM SURE SHES STILL THERE" deadpool said. and then they ran to inaba... tbc


	6. vs Naruto (Naruto)

okay so okay so okay so okay so okay so okay so okay so okay so deadpool okay so dante okay so adachi wait wrong fic i didn't even make adachi's adventure hey kids go read that it's by Biggestotaku, Adachi's Adventure. no this isn't in the same canon as that but all of her persona fics are and they're amazing. okay so Deadpool and Dante had to go to JAPAN to meet Shiklah, Deadpool's waifu. "come on dante bruh, shiklah may be getting infected by THE ANIMES(TM), just like how the author was when he decided to be a weaboo piece of shit and watch hentai before making this fic!" deadpool said. and dante agreed with him. like they didn't even fight they just AGREED for once... they were truly becoming BROS.

Okay so Deadpool and Dante went to the GLORIOUS LAND OF NIPPON and like wow the moment they stepped in, they suddenly turned anime. "wow deadpool this is horrible brah" dante said. then deadpool was like "yeah i was in a marvel anime twice it was awful but i got BIG paychecks. it was like 999999999999999999 in yen. i think that's a great number in america."

then when deadpool and dante was walking through japan they almost fricking died... "dante... whts wrong? could it be.." and then dante gasp for air. "yeah, you're right. the edgetonium is incredibly low... i don't even think it's THE ANIME i think it's the earth... it's almost like the edgetonium LEFT the atmosphere. we should be worried... let's just save your wife first brah, one problem t a time."

so dante and deadpool kept walking thru nippppppppppoooon~and then they saw someone. it was fricing naruto and he was sleeping in a box bc his series ended and he was out of work. "haha look at this sack of shit" dante laughed. deadpool was like "hey! don't laugh at the homeless!" deadpool said. tey almost fought but there was no time. then narudo did his stupid anime move... and deadpool and dante started fighting him. narto tried fighting deadpool first because his mask creped him out. so deadpool jumped out of the way and chopped off narut's arms. naruto screamed and bled and he lived despite the massive bleeding because he's anime. then deadpool chopped off narto's incredibly TINY DONG and that was his SECRET Weakness. then narto used his penis growing jutsu and grew 50 giant wieners nd dante and deadpool shot them all down as they moved up like tentalces. they dropped like flies as each was shot. then deadpool moved in for the finishing blow and dante was like "NO! ..d..deadpool! THERES OnE LEFT WATCH OUT" and deadpool felt himself being choked by a penis tentacle. dante lunged forward but he got caught bc nardo used his shadow clone jewt sue and antother nardo grabbed dante. then dante... did something he did not like... he made himself turn into DONTE to defeat narudo and save him and deadpool.

dante unleashed his inner donte and the pure EDGE in the atmospere made the nardo clones grow weak and die. also they were naked because how do clones even get clothes wtf. then donte grabbed the REAL naruto and like fucking ripped him apart. and he fucking died thannk god. "thanks bruh" deadpool said. then the author took a break while listening to a shitty weeb song and fapped to more hentai because IAMASEXYMAN is a faggot.

then donte jumped at deadpool. "whoa skippy why you trying to hurt me" but donte just screamed at him. oh no... donte lost control, he didn't know what was to kill and what wasn't! HE WAS GOING TO KILL DEADPOOL...deadpool jumped to the left to dodge like he always fucking does and then donte shot at him and deadpool was like "yowch" then donte fucking killed him. then deadpool got up because he can't die wow what a gary stu. "stop this now dante! you cant be donte, you cant... go out this way" and then donte was like "im not reverting ecause of touching words like lst time dumbass jeez holy fUKcing shit asshole hitler penis profanity vulgar body part" and then donte turned back into dante and shit. he sucked in air. "...thank god i turned back... i guess i was unable to sustain that form due to a lack of edgetonium. come on deadpool, we need to save shiklah and then found out what happened to the edgetonium - we're running out of time"

then a monitor appeared and shiklah and adachi were there. "hey honey glad u came back to earth" shiklah said. and deadpool was like "babe! glad to see you... hey wait, why is THAT guy there" deadpool said as he started adachles down. adachi hid behind shiklah. "don't worry, i'll make this clear to him, hun. deadpool get fucking lost. i've married adachi now, and there's nothing you can do. i made him immortal and he gave me japanime powers. the edgetonium is being used by edgy anime characters all over japan, and they will keep using it up to power themselves up until there is none left except for what they need. then you will die, because even with your healing factor, you cannot live without edgetonium. sorry babe but i hate you. also adachi and i are turning the world ANIME."

and then shiklah's face disppearead from the monitor wow. "wow what a bit- uh, mean lady. come on wade let's go stop her" dante said. deadpool shed a tear and wiped it off. "okay dante. let's do this"


End file.
